Kirtan
Kirtana (Sanskrit: कीर्तन; IAST: Kīrtana), also rendered as Kirtan or Keertan, is a Sanskrit word that means "narrating, reciting, telling, describing" of an idea or story, specifically in Indian religions. It also refers to a genre of religious performance arts, connoting a musical form of narration, shared recitation, or devotional singing, particularly of spiritual or religious ideas, native to India.
I know it recently as devotional singing. I have been enjoying listening to the devotion in the voice of Krishna Das, for example, and the vibrations that come with. I do not do it for god's grace or for some sort of desire; although that would be very welcome if it were that easy lol.
Feeling #1: Weirdly the kirtan music doesn’t make me feel purely elated or joyous, as it’s presumably meant to be. Strangely, often it bubbles up some deep melancholy, and I’m often fighting to hold back tears. (‘I do my crying underwater.’)
But it isn’t just melancholy or sorrow that comes up; there’s a sense of it coming up for release. It's both, tears of joy and grief; tears of grudging surrender and acceptance; tears of release. Tears, in fact, of relief.
Feeling #2: I barely open my eyes during the kirtan so I can seek cover inside. But I guess it’s a form of surrender that I am not trying to figure out or rationalise this sudden proclivity to coming for the Kirtans and also listen to devotional music in during my weeks. I’m just allowing myself to slowly gravitate; and the Kirtan sessions are hallmark experiences for me.